CHILL THE @#&% OUT!
The trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie has finally dropped, and it seems to be offending a lot of people. Fellow nerds, please allow me to lay out some the issues you are all having with this movie so we can better understand the real problem.
Issue 1. Michael Bay…..
What problems do you actually have with Michael Bay? What has he done to you to actually offend you? I can understand it if Pearl Harbor didn’t meet your standards, or if Bad Boys or Pain and Gain, took things a little too far… but the majority of people hating on this guy are jumping on the bandwagon because of the enormous amount of hate the Transformers movies received. Which brings me to…
Issue 2. Transformers wasn’t good…..
When I was 8 a new franchise from Japan came over to America, it was called Pokemon. I loved Pokemon; toys, cards, movies, posters, bed sheets… I was a fan to say the least.
Fast forward almost 16 years later and I’m still a fan, but get this shit… Although there are movies that are consistently improving in animation quality and the show that I watched 15 years ago is STILL airing (currently in its 17th season), and I still buy every new game that comes out, I don’t expect to be moved by a story that’s only intention is to weave narrative into a plot that only has to make sense to an 8 year old. I still enjoy Pokemon because I grew up with it, the same way a lot of people enjoy Transformers because they grew up with that as well. Just enjoy it, it is supposed to be cool.
Issue 3. Not realistic at all…..
Really?! Robots from another planet that can completely alter their physical forms to look like cars, trucks, or DINOSAURS?! Turtles that have been exposed to chemicals that instead of causing death, caused them to grow to the SIZE OF HUMANS?! THAT ARE ALSO NINJAS?!
Before you complain about how a 3-story robot and half-human half-turtle don’t look right, ask yourself, “How are these things supposed to look?”,oh wait they don’t really exist!
Issue 4. Megan Fox…..
Everyone’s going to have to get over this. Wipe away the confused hate induced tears for a second to focus on these words. Were you really sitting in Transformers to see the dynamic relationship between Sam Witwicky and his crush Mikaela Banes (yes she does have a last name [thanks Wikipedia]) pan out into something magical and transcend the boundaries of your understanding, making you feel as if one day you could feel an ounce of that blissful almost-perfect romance in your own life… or did you go to see a robot punch another robot in the face. Just face it, Megan’s character in the new TMNT movie, April O ‘Neil isn’t a turtle, she’s not a ninja, hell even if she isn’t much of a reporter it shouldn’t be a big deal seeing as that the reporter thing wasn’t even part of the original TMNT story. The point is, the movie’s done, she’s already been cast, get over it and go see it for the TMNT. Besides, it could be a lot worse…
Don’t take any of this the wrong way, I’m not mad at any of you, I just want you to see where the problem actually exists. It’s you; you’re the one that sets an expectation for yourself that you probably shouldn’t. Don’t get mad at a movie for not satisfying your new tastes, be happy that someone actually cares enough about a franchise that you enjoy to make a multimillion dollar movie based on it. Go watch the movie and enjoy seeing your favorite characters come to life and to show your support. If we don’t, who’s going to care enough to do the same thing again 15 years from now and share those characters with your children.